This Weekend.

For quite a while, Ben's wonderful sister and brother-in law, have been talking about having our kids up to stay with them in Grand Rapids for the weekend.  A couple months ago, they set the date for this past weekend.  I'll be honest...I wasn't necessarily counting the time down.  I love my kids and I feel like I already don't see them enough, so the idea of spending a weekend away from them when I am already away from them far too much during the week was tough for me.  I had threatened Brooke that she might just see me hiding behind the pinball machine at Craig's Cruisers...watching them from afar.  Not at all because I didn't trust them, but just because I would miss them.

I'm guessing Brooke took this as some sort of hint, and found a last minute travel deal and forwarded it to Ben.  So...on Friday afternoon, we dropped the kids off in Grand Rapids...on our way to Mackinac Island.  Pretty awesome sister-in-law, huh?

We had an amazing weekend.  I have a serious love for Michigan.  You know, when I was younger I always assumed that I would move away to some other better state in our country.  After years of travel for fun and for work...I really realized...the grass isn't always greener somewhere else.  This state of ours is pretty darn amazing.  I'm in love with it and every time I get the chance to wander through this awesome state, I take it.  This weekend was no different.  Wanna see a few pics?

There is one way to Mackinac Island.  Over the water.  So...you can leave from either Mackinaw City or St. Ignace to reach the Island by ferry.  So...we left from St. Ignace, which is part of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  You know why?  You have to go over the Mackinac Bridge to get there!  It may be 15 minutes longer to drive.  Well worth it.

Here is another view of the bridge, from the ferry.

Our Bed and Breakfast for the weekend.  It was beautiful.

Our transportation for the weekend.  No cars on Mackinac.  Bike, walk, or horse-drawn carriage.  Your choice.

We took a bike ride around the Island (about an 8 mile trek).  It was my favorite part of the weekend.  The views were amazing.

My favorite guy.

 

Arch Rock.

We visited The Grand Hotel.

It's like the saying, "When in Rome."  In this case, it's "When in Mackinac...sit on the porch at the Grand Hotel and drink Big Porch Ale and Lemonade."

It's the largest porch in the United States, you know.  If Bell's names a beer after it, it must be famous.

 We even found an executive putt putt course with 18 pins and real greens to conquer.  He beat me.

The whole weekend together was wonderful.  I missed my kids like crazy, but I loved our time together.  That's what it's all about.  Love.

Oh - and back to that amazing sister and brother...yeah.  Well, I was getting wonderful texts with photos like these of my kids having fun.  So cool.  They made memories to last a lifetime too.

Hope your weekend was fab.

Last Minute Date Night.

Who says you can't be spontaneous with two kids?  Not this girl.

Got home and gave the kids the option...dinner out or call their favorite sitter. 

Called the sitter.  

Completed mandatory date night ingredients...

Lace footies and heels.

Red lipstick. (Something to detract from not drying my hair today...again!)

Photo credit to Miss Jillian Kate.

Perfume.

Push my mom guilt feelings about getting home and leaving again into the background.  I'll just deal with that tomorrow.  (The kids were cheering for a sitter anyway, right?)

Ready to roll.  

My date will be here in 15 minutes to pick me up.

Hope your Friday was amazing.  Mine was pretty darn good...and about to get even better.

Marriage Maintenance

As I sit here this afternoon - cramming as much into nap time as possible (two computers going - one work and one home, catching up on emails and all things electronic) I am thinking of my husband.  I had a message from him on each computer and had to smile.

As things get super crazy - holiday time or not - it is so easy to get wrapped up in our "to do" lists.  Lists of things I have to do for work, for the kids, for the house, for each aspect of my life that goes whizzing by day by day. You know I love crossing things off my list.  I relish in that big "X" or dark line that I can strike through each "to do".  I think Ben and I both do a good job of keeping "marriage maintenance" on our "to do" list.  It is one of those things that can easily fall to the bottom of the list...or can be frustrating - because it can never be crossed off the list...  Nevertheless...it is a mandatory item.  Sometimes it is automatic and doesn't need any special effort and other times it requires a conscious decision to think about what might make his day better, or how we can navigate through our most recent relationship development.

Our marriage is far from perfect...  I wouldn't want it any other way.  Certainly, there are things over the years that I would change if I had the chance, but I believe there is learning through imperfection.  Learning to forgive, learning to support, and learning to continue to grow in love as our lives evolve and change.

I love being a mother.  It makes my days better in more ways that I can explain.  I also love being a wife.  Someday, these kiddos that occupy my days and nights will grow up.  Someday, they will leave this little nest that we provide for them and flourish as young adults out in this big world of ours.  Then what?  I don't want to wave to my kids as they pull out of the driveway off to college (this hypothetical picture is somewhat unbelievable - as if I wouldn't want to go and see their dorm room and...you know...help them set it up?!?  Follow along anyway, it's hypothetical, remember?) and look at the man waving to them next to me, wondering, "What the hell happens next?"  I want to ease into that next phase just as we entered every other phase...together.

What can get us there?  What can we do now to remain in touch with our relationship?  It's been fifteen years since we met.  I guess my best answer (at least for today) is to stay in touch.  Make the effort.  Some days are easy and some are rough as hell.  (Today was an easy day - this post is not a post-fight rant, okay?)  Take the good to heart and work hard through the tough.  For yourself, for your partner, for your children, and for your own hypothetical wave goodbye in however many years...that will be here before we know it.

For us, this "stay in touch" involves emails, texts, and phone calls throughout the day.  At least one of them needs to be for no reason, other than to say hi.  It make us feel important to each other.  There was reason to call other than to take out the trash, pick up the kids, or stop and get milk.  We have never actually discussed this, but it is something we just do.  Freiedrich Nietzsche said, "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”  I can't agree more.  I can honestly say that Ben is my best friend.  I tell him things that I would never tell even my closest friend.  The bottom line...he is my closest friend.  The exact reason why I would call him for no reason...because I want to.

I'm not even going to try and give marriage advice.  We are far from perfect, remember?  All I will say is take the time to think about your farewell to your children as they leave for college.  Are you ready to live alone with your partner?  What do you want those years to look like?  We plan for our financial futures...it's time to spend just a few minutes planning for our relational futures.  OR - just keep having kids - then you can project your empty nest farther into the future. ;)

Oh - and by the way, that tried and true marriage advice that states that you should never go to bed mad?  That's total crap.  Sometimes you are just too tired to "talk it out" anymore.  Go to bed.  Talk tomorrow.

Vow Renewal.

So...I don't think it is any secret at this point that we renewed our vows on our ten year anniversary trip to Myrtle Beach.  We were rained out on our first attempt, but on the second try to venture down to the beach, we were blessed with an hour of no rain!  We were able to say the things that we wanted to say to each other, take a few pictures, and toast to many more years of married life.

After ten years, we wanted to re-state our vows to each other.  It was nothing formal...there was no priest...it was just Ben and I with a few flowers and the words we wanted to say to each other.  It was different this time.  The words were different, because they were rooted in years of marriage history that we have already put in the books.  The words even meant something different for the very same reason.  We have a family now, we have been through hardships together, and we have celebrated wonderful joys together.

It didn't take much effort...just a stop to the local flower shop and a phone call to a local photographer to capture the memory of our personal event.  It was awesome to take the time to voice our renewed vows to each other.  It brought recognition to the importance of our commitment and our life that we have built together.

Here are some pictures of the occasion.

If you ever get the chance to recommit and recognize the vows you said back when you got married...do it.  It didn't cost much and the sentimental value will last a lifetime.

Down South Anniversary

Hi there y’all!  I’ve been on vacation in the south all week (thus the y’all).   I’ve missed you!  We drove thousands of miles from sunny “Pure Michigan” to Myrtle Beach to play in the pouring rain all week.  It didn’t matter.  It was our ten-year anniversary trip and we were going to have fun, no matter what Mother Nature had to say about it.

I couldn’t imagine a whole week without my kids…but we made it.  We even had fun, despite rain every single day we were there.  With over 40 hours in the car this week and pure one-on-one time with my husband, I suppose a couple would either come home in silence with their arms crossed, or feeling closer than when they left.  I’m relieved that the latter is true.  I had no doubts.

Have you ever searched for seashells at low tide on the beach in the evening…in the pouring down rain?  It was wonderful.  It was raining so hard…like hair dripping, rain in your eyes…hard.  The waves were rolling in and the water under bare feet was the warmest thing about the evening.  It was amazing.  So amazing, we did it twice.  We found huge shells, danced in the rain, and kissed with our toes in the water.  We were the only people on the beach for miles.  It was one of the very best vacation experiences of my life.  I would highly recommend it…rain or shine.

I was able to meet my brand new niece, Josephine Patricia.  She is a perfect example of why we have babies.  Perfectly cuddly and snuggly…and smelling like a new baby.  You know exactly what I’m talking about…  It’s even better than that new car smell.  It should be.  They cost a lot more.  Isn’t she beautiful?

We also got the chance to stop at White Lake, North Carolina to visit some of our wonderful family.  It was awesome seeing my aunt and uncle and their three kids at their lake house.  The only rule is to relax and have fun.  Sounds perfect to me.  I was in awe watching my aunt mothering her boys.  I honestly felt that I learned something witnessing her in action.  I hope I can bring the relaxed environment that she creates for her kids that I tucked away in my suitcase to carry into my own home.  I love learning from other moms.

Water sports rule the weekends on the lake and boy, are they good!  It was so fun to see the kids in action and they even got Ben and I water-skiing.  I guess it really is just like riding a bike.  Somehow, I got up on my first try.  It has been at least 15 years since I’ve skied!  My arms and shoulders would agree that it has been a long time.  I was so sore.

My six-year-old cousin, Tomas showing his knee boarding skills.  His 360 turn was my favorite.

We took day trips to escape the rain.  My favorite?  Charleston, South Carolina.  I would highly recommend it.  It has the perfect combination of that old historic feeling, mixed with fun shops and amazing restaurants.  We had a fun evening at a local pub playing trivia.  I know…it sounds totally dorky, but it was a blast.  We had several people giving us answers…I guess they wanted to see the two from Michigan win.  We ended up leaving early because I couldn’t stand the thought of winning with so many people slipping us answers!

Bridge to Charleston, SC

I am typing now on our long trek home.  I repeat…LONG.  I am so incredibly excited to see my kids.  They will be asleep when we get there and I can’t wait to give them a pile of kisses on each cheek for all of the days I missed their tiny faces.  I am as excited to return home as I was for any portion of our trip.  I love what and whom I have to come home to.

I’ll have one more post about our trip down South soon.  We did something exciting that I am looking forward to sharing with you.  I’ll give you a hint.  I wore a white dress!

P.S.  We got home last night and I am finally getting around to posting this.  Our reunion with our kids...another one of my trip favorites.